Izunia Lucis Caelum (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
founderinglight) wrote2018-04-04 02:34 pm
founderinglight) wrote2018-04-04 02:34 pm
IC journal [Phanrift]
Dated (local calendar); kept in Armiger
Unless otherwise noted, written in Ancient Lucian (that is, Latin); those who read the language will be able to read the entries without any trouble, but anyone else needs to actively concentrate on what they're reading for the translation magic to kick in.
Unless otherwise noted, written in Ancient Lucian (that is, Latin); those who read the language will be able to read the entries without any trouble, but anyone else needs to actively concentrate on what they're reading for the translation magic to kick in.
AL S3W1 notes
My word is binding and yet I know I shall need to put my thoughts somewhere, so it is here that they belong.
For the time being, I have no intent to watch the rest. There are only people from Ardyn's season here, anyway, I don't suppose that it matters much. They can remain in their sealed box, for the time being.
And so it is that we begin.
...You really do look good in that suit, brother dear. I understand why you don't often wear the full black, but it is your birthright regardless of what a bastard of a god might say on the matter.
And I cannot deny that the profile made me swallow a lump in my throat. To think that I would have such a reaction to hearing my name in that way again...
Oh my god. They weren't kidding about how stupid Junpei is. Oh my god.
And I see some things have positively not changed at all. He's trying so hard to not seem as stupid as he is... Just agree with the man who has some idea what multiberse theory even is, Church, that's the safer option, yes.
"Should I be wrong I've no reason not to trust him with the country until I return. Izunia is my brother, and has ever been my dear friend."
I did my very best, Ardyn. I hope that the you of then would have been pleased with what I managed.
...Well, endless font of anger or not, you handled the loss of the Armiger far better than I would have, I admit. My immediate reaction would probably have been 'so what ELSE can I use here as a weapon.'
Also, admittedly, even being prepared for an incredible amount of nonsense, 'multi-billion person orgy' is not a phrase I expected to ever hear, much less have to apparently take legitimately at face value. Why.
And so ends the ~introductory episode~. Which is in fact two episodes as a double feature special, but it's not actually airing and thus I do not actually care. I admit, I've a bias towards paying attention to those I'm already a bit familiar with, but I am trying to keep an open mind about the lot.
Even knowing that some of this is foregone conclusion - promotional material for later seasons aside, Mai is lacking some scars that are by now quite familiar to me and Junpei is whole of both arms - there is the part of me that wants to see it all play out. As the third season, I imagine it was the same for many of the viewers.
There is entertainment in it. As a politician and, ultimately, an actor of the most painful sort of role, I can admire the polish. If I didn't know it to be real - if I thought it genuinely scripted - I might have been sucked in myself.
(It does no good to not acknowledge the dark things inside oneself.)
And to hear the faith in that voice, yet unshakeable... I do not think I shall sleep terribly well tonight. That must be enough for now, I'm sure Astolfo will return from his usual hippogriff care routine soon.
---
Leonard Lucis Caelum Church you do nothing but fill me with questions and concerns, sometimes. Your entire world fills me with concerns, but largely you, personally, at all times.
- Oh my god you were roommates. Ardyn. Ardyn my darling, delightful brother. Ardyn. Brother. You absolute. You really did go for the low-hanging, pretty fruit this time, didn't you.
I can't even believe this, I can't believe you, I love you entirely but you are just beyond description sometimes.
Ardyn you may have forgotten but it nonetheless stands that you have literally built a magitech arm by this point in the timeline, it's attached to Ravus wherever he is at this very moment.
And meanwhile, Junpei and Yuuri are... Gods, they picked each other from the very beginning, didn't they? I suppose I've no room to talk, but nonetheless.
...Oh, that's right. He wouldn't have slept, either...
'A fleeting relationship or two' a fleeting relationship or two a halfyear, perhaps. Honestly...
... Nari. Angel. Have the two of you looked in mirrors, you clearly look the ages on your profiles.
"The unlikeliest explanation is also the most straightforward one." At least you're as intelligent as ever, Scourge or no Scourge.
ARDYN WOULD IT ABSOLUTELY KILL YOU TO REMEMBER THAT I HAVE A TRANSFORMATION TRAUMA for FUCK'S sake, you're fortunate they talked about it before doing it and that I already knew about Heart's or I would be breaking down your door to yell at you right now, 7 am or no.
That's all I have time for today, I'm amazed I managed to squeeze that much in. Hopefully Ardyn takes me at my word that this is a task that shall take some time.
----
"Someone had to be chosen."
At that point, the conversation was already hard to watch, but there, there I must stop. Stop and try to collect my thoughts.
The Draconian would have chosen someone, no matter what we had done. And should Ardyn have failed - refused to use that power, or died before he had enough Starscourge contained to drag him back to that damnable life - then someone else would have been. While I do not believe for a moment that it was the only way the Scourge could have been eliminated, I do believe that Bahamut's mind would not have been changed.
But, oh, what I would not have given, for it to have been someone else. Anyone other than you.
Even me.
I said as much, when Ardyn told me some handful of the motivations offered in this twisted game, but I do not think he understood how deeply I meant it. The person that I am now, the 'Izunia' who wears Command Seals upon his hand as well as the scarf round his neck, is the only one who would not have immediately burned everything for even the slimmest chance to save 'Ardyn' from that fate.
I think... that even before the truth came out, that I thought that. That in my heart of hearts, I prayed - someone, anyone else, please take this burden from my brother. Please lighten the load of the world he bears upon his shoulders.
You don't remember how it changed you, when that healing power came to be. The brother of mine who was once playful and irreverent became so serious, in many ways, almost overnight. Ever having been the serious one, I told myself that it was just that you had grown up, but it was more than that, wasn't it?
I wish that I could go back to that past self of mine. I wish that I had spoken my true feelings then.
Please, anyone but Ardyn. Anyone but my brother. Do not make this the thing that is the lone thing he lives for, because he deserves so much better than that.
It isn't the darkness that took your life, Ardyn, or at least not the darkness alone. For once you had that power, that mission, what else could you have lived for?
The same as Noctis. You are, you always were.
Anyone but my brother. Any family but mine. It is the same thing anyone would say.
But it had to be someone.
"I'm sure he'd have hated being the Crystal's chosen."
Always, more that it was you.
Even if it's not the full episode, I think that enough for today.
----
My only comment thus far today is "90 pounds of space lube."
The conversation where Ardyn admits that he's not been eating or sleeping... I cannot pick a single specific thing about it that is most painful. He's not the same, not the person he was back then, but it is still so close...
Another episode and that brings this 'week' to a close. So I suppose it is time to gather my thoughts a bit.
I remember, mostly, who survives courtesy of that camera of Ardyn's - the group here (save for Mai), Queenie, Nari, and Choromatsu. Of those, Queenie is notably absent from the season five promotional material, which does me a bit of concern, but that is likely a question for Ardyn later. I am making an effort to withhold my questions until the midpoint, the end of this season but before entering the next. I imagine I shall have to ask him to fill in the gaps anyway, as there's some six months missing in between the end of this season and the beginning of the last.
I haven't yet found any of them truly dislikable, which is perhaps a bit surprising. Though I suppose the truly unlikable sorts wouldn't be well-fit for a season of love.
I shall simply have to wait, and hold my breath...